I Shouldn’t Be Essential: A Privilege Check

I Shouldn’t Be Essential: A Privilege Check

In one shift, I estimate I’ve contributed to the production of nearly 100 margaritas. While my boyfriend, with his “real” job with things like minutes for meetings and casual Fridays, is told to stay home, I not only get to attend work in person, but I have to. Facebook is a breeding ground for guilt and soapboxes. Friends whose opinions I respect are begging their friends to save lives by staying home. But here’s what’s happening in my world: Earlier…

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The Story of the Half Marathon that Happened Anyway

The Story of the Half Marathon that Happened Anyway

This tale is one of good news and bad news. It’s one of death and destruction and also of dragons and sorcerers, minus the dragons and the sorcerers. Mostly, it’s a tale of the modern era. It begins with me, outrunning my problems without proper training to outrun anything. My friends and I committed to running in this past Saturday’s Montgomery Half Marathon. Andrew and Rebekah injured themselves during training, and I just neglected training at all. A month before…

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New Dog Parent Achievement Unlocked: A Bloody Toenail

New Dog Parent Achievement Unlocked: A Bloody Toenail

“Everything is okay, but I’m rushing Jed to the vet right now” is how I began a phone call with Bill yesterday. And, nearly everything really was okay. Jed put up a fight when he got his toenails clipped, and his jerk pedicurist got one prettttttttty far down. Lord Google said that a good household solution was to apply cornstarch. That didn’t work. Lord Google also said to be concerned if the bleeding didn’t stop after twenty minutes. So, covered…

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Reflections on Getting My First Pet

Reflections on Getting My First Pet

Hey, here’s a grand idea: let’s get a goddamn puppy. Because I know anything about raising a small creature and also I’m sooo responsible with a gloriously predictable life plan. Here’s to being a sucker. I’ve always been a few years behind in the growing up process. Everything from molars to boys came after all the other toothy, sexual women got to go through the ringer. Here I am, twenty-almost-eight (at the time of the original writing), and talks about…

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The Neighbor’s House Caught Fire

The Neighbor’s House Caught Fire

My pantsless roommate carried the next door neighbor’s beagle mix to my bedroom because Sailor was too timid to climb the stairs. Sailor and his sister, Olive, are staying with us because half their house caught fire last night. Getting ejected into the strange and unexpected scenario of your own street filled with firetrucks whose job is to put out the fire next to your own bedroom window is, in a word, emotional. “What if” turns into “hell the fuck…

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