I wore Spanx and false eyelashes tonight. Also heels that made me at least one thousand wine glasses taller. I love coming up with reasons to celebrate because that means we get to celebrate! Watch out: here comes the red lipstick. Doncha just love dressing fancy? Heck yeah I’ll engage in the sacred act of getting ready. I’ve got a Spotify list to jam to and a curling iron that I don’t really know how to use. You’ve got to…
Actually, life isn’t that bad and you deserve a slap in the face. Wake up, sheeple! Mac n’ cheese exists and so do people who flirt with you. I secretly like the flirting. My fragile ego needs the occasional confidence boost, even though I know I’m supposed to remind people to like me for my dazzling personality. Butt slaps are never welcome but flirting? I’ll take it. We can both pretend my acne scars don’t exist for two minutes. Burritos,…
We are lovers, you and I. We have the capacity to love. Let’s dance, shall we? It is easy to coast. Go to work, greet the dog, eat food at some point. It is easy to accept that the people we know are the people we know and this is just life now. But I am comforted in remembering: we are always chasing change. We make money when we go to work and with that money we will buy something…
I’m all blocked up, if you know what I mean. And I mean writer’s block, just so we’re clear. Thing is that I had this idea for a piece comparing homemade eggs Benedict to true love and I think I missed the mark somewhere. Not sure how I could have possibly messed that up, yet here we are. I nonetheless stand firmly by the original sentiment: that meal was delicious and you missed out. I have something to tell you…