Title: To Be Determined

I have two dead cockroaches in my apartment that have been sitting there for over a week now. I haven’t picked them up yet because I spend such little time in my apartment.

Speaking of which: my apartment is a mess. Because I’m rarely there. I’m rarely there because I have no reason to be there.

I can’t wait until the place I sleep is also the place I call home. I can’t wait until the place I sleep is also a place at which I’d like to spend time. I imagine that when my place of residence eventually matches my permanent address, I will have a dog or two. Maybe a live-in boyfriend. And an espresso maker.

Living in Alabama has been an adventure. In the 6 months I’ve been here, my emotions have been a bit all over the place. Highlights include: the birth of my nephew, the loss of my dog, the development of a new romance, the crash and burn of my friendship with my ex boyfriend, and a feature in Reader’s Digest.

I used to think that moving to Potsdam was the best decision of my life. I think it’s now tied with the decision to move to Montgomery. With each move, I figure out a little more about what I want. Maybe it’s because I’m a young adult and these realizations would come along anyway. Who knows? I still like to think of myself as an adventurer.

Since I’ve been here, I’ve: tried a mint julep, drank real sweet tea, kissed a Southern boy, been referred to as “Miss Liz” by I don’t know how many people, witnessed real poverty, met an illiterate adult, and ate more than my fair share of grits…just for starters.

I miss my family, my dogs, my sassy cat who only likes my sister…

I miss Potsdam. I miss everybody in Potsdam.

I miss Jernobi’s and the Village Diner and the cute older guy who works at Misty Hollow and I miss Tattoo Polly who gave me a couch that stayed in my ex boyfriend’s room after I moved out.

I miss the three bedrooms I had while I was in Potsdam.

I miss wearing my Betty Boop bathrobe at parties. I miss Max.

I miss Trish and Benjamina and beach bonfires.

I miss Goliath and Beaver.

I miss St. John’s La Verne.

I miss my truck.

And dang, I’m gonna miss this place when I leave. My term here is halfway up.

These days I’ve been trying to narrow down what the next adventure will be. My PeaceCorps app is halfway done. I’ve started looking into LSAT books. I’ve considered uprooting to Chicago, Boston, NYC, and Alaska.

I have a map of the United States, a dartboard, and three darts. Where they land are where job and school applications will be sent.

That’s a healthy way to decide my future, right?

I really need to pick up those dead cockroaches.