Relationships Schmelationships
Due to a little bit of relationship turbulence as of late, the following remarks have to do with my opinion on everything love-related.
A college student’s favorite hobby is criticizing every other college student’s romantic life. We absolutely love insulting 19-year-olds who get engaged after two months of dating (sorry Nicole, I had to say it).
As an early twenty-something-year-old female, finding a partner is on the forefront of all early twenty-something-year-old females’ minds. Because that’s what us ladies are programmed to start thinking about at early twenty-something. Even if we don’t want something as long-term and serious as marriage, we just want a partner who’s at least as as grown up as we are. For now, I just want a long-term, serious dude who helps me buy groceries and watches movies with me on a Saturday night.
Males, on the other hand, are…well, different.
My boyfriend, along with every other early twenty-something-year-old male, is far from even the possibility of marriage. Because he’s a dumb boy, and all dumb boys think that way.
But Zach and I are both serious enough for right now, in this moment. We’re great for this time in our lives because we’re two ambitious people who love to love but also love to fly solo. Our realistic expectations of how this relationship will ultimately end is, well…sexy.
I’m absolutely astonished that some…well, most people are surprised that Zach and I aren’t going to do everything in our power to make it work after I graduate.
Yep. In case you haven’t heard, Zach and I are ending in a few weeks.
When people hear this, it’s like they’re utterly heartbroken because a fairy tale doesn’t have a happy ending. Max tries to convince me once every couple of weeks to stay in Potsdam with Zach until we break up for an “acceptable” reason.
One person recently told me we should have just broken up the second we realized that we didn’t want to be together after I moved.
To the person that I will not name who has such a strong opinion about my relationship even though your boyfriend is a dirtbag who isn’t going anywhere in life, though I’m pretty sure you don’t even know I have a blog: shut the poop up. If I never got romantically involved with someone just because I knew I wouldn’t stay in their geographical location for longer than eleven minutes, I’d never have a caring relationship.
A person’s decision in their relationship is solely made between them and the other person involved. Zach’s a cool dude, but I want to move elsewhere for a year. Then join the Peace Corps for two years after that. Doing the math here, that’s three years of being away. We’re 21, of course we don’t want that…regardless of me being a needy girl and him being a stupid boy.
So many people think we’re crazy…but no one said anything to me when I was 18 and dating someone when we knew the relationship would end once I moved to New York. Excuse all of you, but my relationship at 18 was just as serious as the one I have at 21. I could spend forever with these individuals, but do not want to commit to that just yet.
Zach will always have a big lightning bolt-shaped spot in my heart the same way my ex occupies a big carabiner-shaped one.
Someone once told me that all people are meant to come and go in your life. And that’s true. Zach needs to adventure the same way my ex does and the same way I do.
And that doesn’t mean I don’t want a lifelong partner someday. Hell no, I don’t want to keep bouncing between relationships just because I feel like moving to Alaska or Uganda or North Korea every 6 minutes. Taking someone on my adventures sounds like an unbelievably attractive idea. But first I need to discover a little more Lizy and learn a few more things about the ins and outs of the internal workings of the universe before I can commit to someone like that.
My ex will keep on rock climbing and Zach will keep on rocking out. I will keep on…politicsing? For the sake of creative writing: damn I wish I had majored in rocks…
Anyway: please stop telling me I should dump him now or stay with him forever. We’re young, but old enough to know what’s important to us. Zach and my ex and I all know what we’re doing in the game of life. We’re picking the adventure.
And I think Zach and I can both say that we each rank at least somewhat highly on the other’s list of important things, and the last thing we want is to hold eachother back from doing what we really want to do.
And no, you cannot take me on a date next month. I will be an emotional, drunk shit show with no intentions of rebounding and every intention of watching a thousand reruns of M*A*S*H with my mom.