The Messy, Adventurous, Awful, and Exciting Romantic Lives of Young Adults

Raise a glass if you are my age and aren’t pregnant! Is your glass raised? Congrats! If it is, you are joining the wave of young people who are making the conscious effort to postpone the start of their family lives.

Either that, or you’re male.

By the time my mom was my age, her eggerz was preggerz and she was married to my dad. Which is totally fine, because her choice to get things going at what I think is a young age is what led to the creation of my kickass family. You go, Mammasan.

I’m not sure which reports, but there are some reports out there that identify a trend that is currently taking place within my generation of humanoids. We are starting our families later than previous generations, which is very exciting. It’s nice to not be questioned why I don’t have a ring on it yet.

[Never mind that I’ve been asked this multiple times since moving to the deep South (I’m totally serious). Southerners aren’t as quick to catch up to certain things. For example, women still wear petticoats and can’t vote here. ]

However, with this exciting new trend, comes great responsibility. Just like in Spiderman.

Now, us hormone-filled scoundrels are running around trying to figure out how to be sophisticated, attractive, and sexy and somehow remain unmarried until we’re good and ready. Many of us are facing the incredibly uncomfortable wake-up call that the dating world, in fact, isn’t as light-hearted and playful as it is in those sitcoms where twenty- or thirty-somethings are rooming together and go on hilariously disastrous dates with hilariously awful people and then the season ends with everybody falling in love and Debra Messing marries Harry Connick, Jr.

As much as I want it to be true, I simply must face the fact that I can’t pull off that shade of red and that I (most likely) won’t marry Harry Connick, Jr.

My own unconventional situations have shaped a rather unique view on navigating the dating world as one of these fancy new young adults who is actively choosing to settle later. And the only solid conclusions I’ve come to are these:

• Just because a song came on that has one or two lines that relate to your dating life does not mean you should try to make your story match the rest of the song.
• Show the people you care about that you care about them. Do it you won’t no balls.
• Adventure comes at the cost of stability. Stability comes at the cost of adventure.
• Being cheated on is not an excuse to cheat. Ever. Ever ever ever ever ever ever. People who believe otherwise are delusional.

I’m not sure how to wrap up this post. What was I saying? Something about…condoms? Wait…

Oh! My reflections. I’ve been reflecting a lot because I’ve been on a bumpy road this year with those I care deeply about. Without getting too emotional or sentimental over here (you guys hate it when I get all whiney), it’s safe to say that I wouldn’t mind not ever having to go through some of the crap I’ve dealt with this year.

Never mind that a good deal of it was self-inflicted.

If anyone needs dating advice, I would not recommend coming to me. My almost-5-year-old nephew is already smarter than me when it comes to this kind of stuff. If you need his number, I’ll pass it along to you.

So where do I go from here? (“How about you wrap up this post now?” said every RPS reader ever)

I want to stay close to the dude in Montgomery, because he’s a great dude. I want (and need) to stay single for a good bit while I get my shit together. That’s about as far as it gets.

Here’s to an indefinite and self-imposed timeout from the dating world and to many, many, many nights alone in my bed, blogging about watching the Dean Martin Variety Show with not a soul to laugh with me.

If you are young and messing up as well, you are not alone. Dating as a young adult is a lot harder than it was in high school. My first relationship ended over a MySpace message, I was sad for a few days, and that was it. Things just aren’t the same anymore.

I think this post is done now. Click the “Like” button; I need my spirits lifted.