Thoughts on the Future and a Tear or Two

I’m hanging out in the library right now. Well, duh…I have no internet and the library is the most Lizy-friendly place for a blog post.

I’m nervous about my life. I’m about to move to…well, wherever I get hired…and leave this place. I know that, as of right now, I do not have enough money for a security deposit on an apartment anywhere…let alone first and last month’s rent.

I know that, as of right now, I have no job after I graduate.

I know that I will be leaving a wonderful house filled with wonderful roommates and a plethora of other amazing people that have been such a cool part of my life in exchange for many long, lonely months of building up new friendships and a new network of awesome people to replace the old ones that I hope to never forget but instead file away in a filing cabinet in my soul that is painted tye dye pink and is labelled “THE BEST THINGS IN YOUR LIFE.”

I know that I will be leaving a wonderful boyfriend of more than a year here in this snowglobe of a village. I know that my heart will break all over again because since the day I turned 18 I have been incapable of staying in the same place for 5 minutes. I know that I will fall in love again and he will fall in love again and I will move again and be heartbroken again and I don’t know what will happen to him but I hope he remembers me when he’s 30 and gives me a call and says “want to get coffee?” and I’ll say “I’m booking the flight now.”

I know that I will be swimming in my student loans for a very long time but I am too young and carefree and ignorant to the ways of handling money to know just how long. I do not know which politician is the best person to vote for to eradicate my loans. I do know that I will be working two jobs until further notice. I think ‘further notice’ will probably be sometime in my 40’s.

I know that I am currently being considered for a position working with low-income homeowners in New Orleans and they have access to my Facebook profile and therefore a link to this blog. My potential future employer might be reading this and might be impressed by everything that is Elizabeth Kurtz or might exit this window and send my application to the recycling bin.

I know that I tear up a lot these days when I think about all these things. How can it be that two years went by like that? This time two years ago I was on a plane to Potsdam days after just breaking up with my significant other so my dad and I can see the school and decide “yes, this one is it.” I was teaching a stranger in the Student Union how to do the skip from Wizard of Oz…and now that girl is my roommate and I am about to kiss her goodbye for what seems like will probably be forever.

Guys. I’m really about to leave.

Like, for reals.