I’m Angry at Facebook and Also There’s a Hurricane

I live in the path of Hurricane Irma and figured I’d get out an update. Not because anything interesting has happened, but because what if I want to blog when we lose power?

So here you go.

Irma is scheduled to blow through Montgomery sometime tomorrow evening as a tropical storm. Schools, grocery stores, and our favorite coffee shop will be closed in anticipation of it. We might lose power.

My life will go unbothered by it because I am still unemployed. I could go weeks without ever leaving the house, but let’s not be ridiculous.

My time has been spent applying to jobs and graduate schools, walking my roommate’s pooches, perfecting my over medium egg flip, and stewing about how much Facebook has bothered me. I deleted the app from my phone an hour ago. I am not experiencing withdrawals.

Facebook, YOU ARE OUT OF CONTROL. There aren’t enough filters and settings in the world to get you to stop being so exasperating. I (almost) regret that I’ve blocked or been blocked by all the MAGA people because at least they offered me some spice in my life. Lately all I’ve gotten are reminders that Feel the Berners still exist and are still unforgivingly bitter.

Look, I wanted Bernie too, but he was a self-described atheistic socialist. There wasn’t a puppy’s chance in preschool that he was gonna win. He’s the uncle we need, not the uncle we deserve. I know it feels like you’re doing something to end the current presidency by sharing *yet another* Clinton article to your social media, but you’re not. You need to process your feelings of complacency elsewhere.

Back to the hurricane. Did you hear that I live in its path? It’s not so interesting. My coffee shop is closed and that’s it. I’m almost not in its path.

Irma is livelier for the people whose houses may get flooded or may lose their lives. They keep getting sent thoughts and prayers from Facebook but no one has told Facebook that these people actually need money and volunteers. I don’t know how to say that any other way. I am tired of hearing about horrifying disasters and then see nominal heroes get online and send out keyboarded messages to victims, hoping those will somehow help.

I suppose the sentiment is harmless and I should just leave the praying types be, but I hope no one confuses it for the relief these victims actually need.

My timeline is losing my interest because I so rarely see substance anymore. Just people processing current events by typing out their feelings, spellcheck optional. The content I’m receiving is no longer captivating. It’s boring.

We don’t deserve Facebook. It could be used as a tool to drive social change but instead we’re sending thoughts and prayers to flood victims who don’t know the locations of their beloved pets or haven’t heard from their neighbor in six days or don’t know how they’re going to pay for tomorrow’s hotel stay.

Remember the Ice Bucket Challenge? I was a critic of it. But I’d be a fool to say it didn’t make a difference. It raised loads of money and awareness. Bucket loads, some might say. Ice bucket loads, dads might say.

I don’t know when we lost that energy.

I would prefer if I opened my timeline to see my friends doing interesting things, like laughing at their kids doing something silly. Or raising money to kick thyroid cancer’s balls. Or larping. Not enough of my friends larp.

I would prefer not to see more noise. We get it: you’re mad about Bernie losing. Neo Nazis are oxygen thieves. Something something guns something. You have thoughts and prayers about hurricanes.

Imagine a world where every thought and prayer came with a $3 donation.

I signed up to be a Red Cross volunteer and am currently waiting to be placed. I don’t have money to give (still unemployed, remember), but my unemployment leaves me with all the time in the world.

And, I know. This is a me problem. I can’t expect all of the universe to entertain me all of the time.

I just think we could be doing a heck of a lot better.