“Everything is okay, but I’m rushing Jed to the vet right now” is how I began a phone call with Bill yesterday. And, nearly everything really was okay. Jed put up a fight when he got his toenails clipped, and his jerk pedicurist got one prettttttttty far down. Lord Google said that a good household solution was to apply cornstarch. That didn’t work. Lord Google also said to be concerned if the bleeding didn’t stop after twenty minutes. So, covered in blood and cornstarch, I threw one of Andrew’s towels down in my car and tossed the dog in. Together we sailed on over to the vet. I was still wearing my ultra classy American flag Crocs, normally reserved for a quick step outside to clean up literal shit. Or, in this case, to tend to the four-month-old puppy I just maimed.
So this is how my life is shaping up. As a little girl it felt like the adults around me had much more autonomy in their lives. Like we have much more freedom to pick “any job we want” (you know, that old lie) or the house we want to live in. And it felt like other things defined a person more. Their children. Their spouse. Their pets. But, here I am, not really sure why I have the job that I do. And I didn’t deliberately go out and pick Jed. If it was up to me, I’d still be allocating my money and funds elsewhere. And, when the time came to finally get a dog, I was pretty sure I wanted an adult female “undesirable” from the pound. One of the most difficult decisions I weighed when considering whether to keep Jed was the uncertain future I’d be giving to a dog I’d never heard of, that I’d never met, that I wouldn’t adopt for another few years.
And now I’m sitting between work shifts, having just washed Jed’s blood from the back patio, and listening as he wrestles Maple in the next room. I still can’t believe I have a puppy. A little boy named Jed who’s growing like a weed and loves snuggles more than peanut butter. He goes crazy when he sees Bill and he adores the stuffed moose my mom bought him before he even had a name.
I don’t know when I’ll get a job back in my field. I’d be lying if I said that didn’t bother me. But, everything seems to be working for the moment. Jed doesn’t seem to be bothered.