8.20.12

I wasn’t lying when I said I promised to stay at Dunkin’ until the blog was up. It’s been a week now and the workers have said they are done giving me pitty donuts while I frantically work to get the site back on her feet again. See? Here’s a picture of my disheveled look to prove it.

Ok maybe I’m lying a little bit…but I AM back at Dunkin now for another 3 hours and the workers ARE giving me pitty donuts. I love looking pathetic. Also, the disheveled look is because I pretty much never comb my hair. Shhh; don’t tell anyone it’s the secret to my sexy beach waves.

Why do I seem to spend all my downtime at Dunkin’ Donuts, you ask? Well, I have no internet. And Dunkin, on the extreme opposite end of town, provides you with all the free WiFi you want as long as you make a purchase. And guess who has two thumbs and is dogsitting for the professor who lives right next door? This sexy pants.

Darn, I have to spend my afternoon playing with four adorable dogs, eating bagels and lattes, and farting around on the internet. Life is hard when you’re me.

In other news, want another funny story about Max?

Once upon a time Max was playing hide-and-go-seek (yes, it’s funny that a 20-year-old is playing hide-and-go-seek, but it gets better) with his girlfriend and some friends, and decided to hide in a tree. Seems like a legitimate hiding spot for a strapping young man.

So our hero decides to be extra hidey and pulls a branch over him to cover himself up. Seems like another decent move. I would surely be shaking in my trousers if I were up against that cunning devil.

But then… his branch brakes. And he falls. AND DIES.

Ok not really. I probably shouldn’t have joked about that. But his back really did die though. Among all the bones that subsequently snapped in two, his (broken) rib bone punctured his lung and he lost half his blood. Max needed a blood transfusion, lots of casts, and probably a sponge bath or two (which I giggle about). Yes, he can still walk. He is coming back to school this week and will be sporting a very stylish back brace, which I’m sure will make all the “I’ve missed you all summer” hugs quite interesting.

Needless to say, I’ve taken to referring to my unfortunate roommate as Humpty Dumpty. Don’t worry – I acquired him a bunch of condoms as a back-to-school-I’m-sorry-you-broke-your-back-while-giving-away-your-location-at-hide-‘n-seek gift.